Sunday, June 12, 2005
gone stale
my dearest lot,can we have a constructive dynamic something to do together? i feel so monotonous, so trapped by a need to service my life, to keep maintaining relationships. i need to be free from these. maybe a twenty year old yvonne doesnt want a life like this now. it is not what i want. i want to be like what i was, or will be, that being someone better than before.
liqi lets start climbing this sunday. we go climbasia. have u been there? i'll ask xiaojun. can people without level one climb? xinyi u want to climb? xinyi please go get ur climbing cert. courses at on this month at safra. just in our neighbourhood!
yoga! there is a free trial at yogaaffinity for new students. www.yogaffinity.com. they practise bikram yoga, that is basically yoga, but done in a heated room. i believe this is the type of yoga for me. and for you too, if you feel cold and stiff in a normal studio. and half of my pay shall go to this class. who is interested to go to the free class with me?
ok that was a little advertisement. my temper has worsen i feel. this is not me. i feel like severing sth. not hair. oh help me! i have become impatient, practical, bad tempered - translate it to the power language of the coporate world, i want to accomplish things fast, efficient and i am merciless to anyone who or anything that dosent match up.
in the end, after all my dreams of achieveing success, i think i might do better forgetting all that i had learnt recently, time time time! im talking time all the time. i tell people i need time away, i live my life around the clock, time to eat, time to sleep, time to meet, time to call. deadlines to be met , phonecalls to be returned within half an hour, emails to be replied within a day. i despised time. now i am enslaved to it. so in the end, i might be happier, and truer, if i return to my who cares if its but an airy floating rootless ideal of living a life of art and love and friends and this and that i so enjoy.
the last time i really star gazed moon gazed cloud gazed was i think a year ago.
the last time i had time alone for the good of being alone was 3/4 a year ago.
why learn from other's peoples way of life. when we know what we really want.
ahhhhh people people i am crying for company. meet me after work. we can gym. we can dine. we can drink. we can club, we can yoga, we can write, we can work. i need to have a dynamic life.
fuck at 5:08 PM